At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
