all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
