So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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