VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My dick has a subreddit
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
