I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
