it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
