Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
