1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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