the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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