Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
