At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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