Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
