when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
