He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
