the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
