Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
