She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
