I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
