he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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