Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
