Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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