So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I cut my penus on the lid.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
