You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
