I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
