I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
