It's Friday. Sex?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
