I smell stomach acid.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
