ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
