Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
