I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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