Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
