I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
