actually, I'm a sock model
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
