i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
