May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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