if you like me you must not know who I am
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
