I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
