I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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