i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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