Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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