you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
