yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
