Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
