I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
