i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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