dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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