she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
