I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So many bounce houses so little time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize