He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
