his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
