After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
