Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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