i wish peter jackson would direct porn
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
