Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How external is "for external use only"?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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