he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
